Waiting is a concept designed by the inefficient for the apathetic. The queue is a system that assumes everyone’s need is equal.

Now darlings, if everyone’s need is in fact equal by all means lets form an orderly queue.

If the resource we are queuing for is so rare, that it can only be retrieved out of hard Karoo ground using the dentures of a left-handed moose, then yes, we can patiently twiddle our thumbs and wait.

But that is never the case, waiting and queues are on the rise because so-called “service” providers don’t want to spend money employing competent staff and engineering streamlined systems. They would rather have a few stupid people paid a pittance AT YOUR SERVICE, and an automatic answering “service” intended to pacify you as it wanks on about what a valuable customer you are.

(Yes that is slight agitation you are picking up in my tone)

We don’t wait to collect a pound of gold, we wait to pay for milk, we wait to pay our telephone bills, we wait at the bank to collect our money so we can wait at Clicks to buy a tooth-brush, and yes you got it we wait to do the right thing; we wait to pay.

I’m beginning to understand why people steal; it’s for the sake of efficiency. Previously I had thought that it was because people could not, or did not want to pay for the product or service they required, but that is not the case it’s simply because theft is faster.

Being that I’m writing from the South Africa context it is evident that no one gets caught for theft , this I surmise is because the  YOU ARE GOING TO GET CAUGHT queue is so long that no one would ever bother standing in it long enough to get to the front.

Panga Management proposes that the next time you have to wait in a queue for longer than two minutes, you say NO to apathy disguised as patience.

Okay, I would hate for you to get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you leave quietly (unless you are activating your constitutional right to steal, then quietly would be recommended strategy) I’m suggesting that you proclaim very loudly… FOR FUCKS SAKE WHERE IS THE CUNTING MANAGER! And then you swear I whole lot more and some more and some more.

Yes my darlings I agree, the chances are slim that we would suddenly experience the service promised to us in all the marketing material, but you will undoubtedly feel a hell of a lot better and if you are lucky enough to be surrounded in the queue with other proactive people you can all practise your swearing together.

A chorus of swearing just might send the poorly paid manager over the edge, and they just might demand a better salary, and maybe, just maybe the service provider will weigh up if this particular employee is worth the new good salary, and finally come to the correct conclusion; that instead of paying a stupid person a good salary it is cost efficient in the long run to pay a competent person the good salary and then if we are really lucky quality will be returned to the service industry and people will be paid a good wage for working efficiently .

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