SEARCHING SMALL TOWNS – SOUTH AFRICAN ROAD TRIP PART 5

When JC Engelbrecht, Panga Management’s favourite SABC weather guy moves his hand over the South African map and then takes a step back so we can view the highs and lows, which town wins the lotto’s for being the coldest? You got it, Sutherland! And yes we spent our last road trip night there waking up to snow in the Karoo and experiencing what it feels like to be the “ stranger danger factor “ as I have said before, small town people are not like us and Juju and Kiki did not make any friends in Sutherland.

Photo credit: Kiki

Please note Panga Management feels a moral obligation to tell Christina Fatti to consider a new job; if you stutter your temperatures you don’t have the aptitude to be a weather presenter, if after many months you look like a dassie in the headlights when the camera is rolling rather find a job on radio, nothing personal we are sure your lovely and kind to animals and all that, but Panga Management would not have believed it was possible to massacre the weather if PM had not witnessed it firsthand. Panga Management is tired of screaming “make it stop make it go away” whilst cringing at your humiliation so for your own self-esteem and our comfort levels let’s have JC 24/7 (and I’m not referring to Jesus , the binnelands have  enough Jesus for everyone).

Photo credit: Kiki

The road to Sutherland is long and feels longer because you don’t see a single sausage of civilisation. As you drive deep into the north the beauty-ach begins to throb with each kilometre. The altitude of Sutherland and the lack of civilisation is what make it one of the best sites to have a really big telescope (SALT) with no light pollution you can see the stars very clearly at night.

Photo credit: Kiki

The lack of sparkle might make it a rocking place to have a telescope but the lack of sparkle makes it a strange place to go if you are two ( Juju and Kiki) 30-year-old gorgeous gals without wedding rings travelling through the binnelands.

Photo credits: Kiki

In Sutherland a women without a wedding ring at 30 means only one thing, there is something wrong with her , logical next step for the people of Sutherland is to assume your lesbian and that is a bad thing to be in Sutherland. If you happen to wear the coolest mock biker jacket with a 666 skull badge on the sleeve you are a demon worshipping lesbian and if you happen to spill your baths salts on your beanie then you are naturally a demon worshipping, lesbian, drug mule and if you add; English-speaking, Vegetarian, Shark supporter into this already very sin full mix you are “the other” personified. Without going into too much detail let’s just say that people moved away from Juju and Kiki at the bar just in case what they had was catchy!

Photo credit: Kiki

Fair enough Panga Management went to experience “the other” and that means Panga Management was going to be experienced by “the other”. Experiencing prejudice whether it is based on fact or assumption is almost as strange as experiencing snow in the Karoo, and that we did. The beautiful nuances of these experiences Panga Management will always cherish, so thanks Sutherland! You all dress VERY badly, but Panga Management was happy to be experienced by you even if it found you frightened and by the way the Sharks are going to whip your asses at the next Super 14.

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