QUOTING MALCOLM PAYNE- “IN MY HUMBLE OPINION”……

Panga Management frequents galleries. Not to indulge in the free wine but to be moved by the art; like someone shaking a champagne bottle PM loves the brain-beauty-ach-bubbles! I feel a footnote coming on – PM likes art (with a capital A) that does not mean that PM likes artists (with a capital A or a small A for that matter) and PM finds the people who frequent galleries rather objectionable. PM is delighted when the gallery is empty of all besides the artwork. However being that life is busy, PM sometimes has to compromise the perfection of an empty gallery and brave the mass of humanity at the exhibition opening .

Zander Blom, untitled , 2010 , oil and pencil on linen.

Just last night one such situation arose, and PM could be found grazing between Blank and Michael Stevenson Contemporary in the newly gentrified suburb of Woodstock, checking out Zander Bloms exodus into painting and The Menippean Uprising a group show curated by Pierre Fouche and Hentie Van Der Merwe . PM will leave the reviewing of these exhibitions to someone else but will present an overview of the free, and sometimes not so free, wine drinkers who unconsciously but with a stubborn degree off force, embrace the art world stereotypes.

A small note  regards stereotypes  – No matter what the PC people say, stereotypes endure because they articulate accuracy. Stereotyping is only harsh because it embraces efficiency and PM is very efficient.

Dale Washkansky, untitled, 2010, albumen print on springbok hide.

An opening is never complete without a sprinkling of Ensemble Rigor Mortis, the symptoms of this strange affliction are as follows; if you diagnose someone who evidently can’t help but wear an outfit that is neither becoming nor fashionable, who then proceeds to stand for poignant periods of time next to anything that might compliment the colours in their unbecoming and unfashionable get-up you should take note!  If you then pick up the distinct odour of perverse longing, rooted in the potential that in their current juxtaposition they may appear ‘Arty’ you have indeed detected a bad case of Ensemble Rigor Mortis. Panga Management is quite fond of the blog Skattie What Are You Wearing? if you peruse this blog you will definitely spot a few lethal cases of Ensemble Rigor Mortis flanked by other examples of fabulously dressed divas.

To add bitterness to the art opening recipe you always need a hand full of ‘Want- to –be’ academics/artists who with pursed lips and commitment, peruse whatever employs the gallery in order to find fault and thereby justify their superior intellect and or production. These specimens are always closely followed by the art equivalent of the Remoras fish , ‘The Stalkers’ who without fail latches onto anybody they feel might improve their chances of becoming a ‘Want- to –be’ academic /artist . A slight variation of this breed “The Lesser Spotted Stalker” suffer from an interesting twist of performance anxiety; afraid that the ‘Want- to –be’ academics/artists will see that they are shallow of intellect and empty of ideas. These “Lesser Spotted Stalkers” generally develop Ensemble Rigor Mortis after six months of exposure to the gallery opening scene .

Now darlings don’t feel deprived of examples or case studies, just check out Skattie What Are You Wearing ? and hone your diagnostic abilities.

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This entry was posted in Design, South African Art, South African Lifestyle, Visual Arts and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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