There are a number of things that stir homicidal tendencies in Panga Management. In fact Panga Management made a list before bed the other night and reached 50 points without chipping a nail. Panga Management found the exercise very enlightening especially when it became starkly clear that all these pet hates could be archived under two headings: Waste and Public Space Crimes.
Waste Example 1) junk mail- when some random git offers PM a “flyer” (AKA not in a million god forsaken years) they might as well be saying “hey you please through this in the bin for me”. The junk mail phenomenon punted by some marketing committee to keep themselves in a job is polluting the planet and worse annoying the crap out of PM.
Trees get cut down and swiftly dumped in a landfill and the “junk mail vendor person” try’s to pass on the carbon footprint to you, by asking you to through it in the bin! How rude! PM feels very strongly that Junk mail should be illegal just like internet spam.
Following this train of thought; printed art exhibition invites should also be banned, PM must throw away 50 kilograms of art opening invites a year. Note to all readers, the only people who like a printed exhibition invite are the artists on the show. Everyone else just discards them in total faith that they will be spammed with the invite on every email and social networking account they posses and you know what? They would be right! And you know what else? It does not matter how often you spam people they won’t go to your exhibition if they were not going to go before the onslaught of spam. Oh and before I sign off on this point – Fuck you telly sales people and fuck you people who send bulk spam text messages!
Public Space Crimes Example 1) everyone goes on about the driving crimes in South Africa, but let’s mention a few of the walking crimes. You know people who slither at a snail’s pass whilst pushing a trolley and a pram and talking to somebody standing next to them who is also pushing a trolley and a pram! For Gward’s sake that should not be allowed! And people who enter a lift before allowing the people inside the lift to leave; and people who play music from their cell phones in public, and I could go on. “What’s to be done about it” you might proclaim, well PM fully supports civil action and mastering the art of swearing but you know this about PM already.