Are you sure you’re an artist? Have you gone through the list of requirements and ticked all the boxes, do your pathologies check out? Do you wear monochrome colours on your happiest day and black for the rest of the year? Tick. Do you feel like you are being persecuted by the system, a gallery, and your peers? Tick. Are you in fact being persecuted by the system, a gallery, and your peers? Tick. Do you believe that what you have to offer no one else can AKA you are a genius? Tick. Do you believe that the reason no one likes your work is because they just don’t get it? Tick. Do you feel misunderstood and underappreciated? Tick. Do you have problems socialising with anyone outside the art world? Tick. Do you use your assumed artist identity as an excuse for being ineffectual ,unprofessional and for having dirty nails? Tick. Do you believe what you do will change the way we all look at the world? Tick. Do you do your best thinking at the bar? Tick. So you have ticked all the boxes, let’s check the results, are you an artist? No ….. You are a poorly socialised, self-centred twat, and you really should not take yourself too seriously. Sorry darling, better luck next time!
Talking about taking oneself too seriously, the only people who take themselves and their stereotypes more seriously than artists are photographers. You must read the below, cut and pasted from the TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHER BLOG.
“The first reason for photojournalists wearing scarves is that these instantly and with certainty identifies you as a PHOTOJOURNALIST, and removes you from the pool of suckers known simply as “photographers”, especially “art” photographers.
The second reason photojournalists love scarves (especially those of ethnic origin) is that it tells non-photojournalists know that we are exotic, and that we do exotic, non 9 to 5, non traditional type things. The third reason is that wearing the ethnic scarf will make other people instantly assume the photojournalist has a deep connection with, has spent time living with, has created a powerful but yet unseen photographic essay about, the ethnic group that wears that particular scarf.The most popular, but lacking in credibility is the Keffiyeh. It has become stylish, fashionable, and carries with it a strong hint of activism. It’s out of favor except for newbies. It’s one thing to wear it around the neck…which is barely passable, and quite another having your picture wearing it as a turban (think Yasir Arafat) on your website bio or Facebook page…this signals the world you’re a miserable ass…and that you’re prematurely bald. The second type of scarf is the Cambodian Krama. This particular scarf shows you have worked in the conflict ridden regions of Cambodia (also known as Angkor Wat), and most probably Thailand’s southern beach wars as well, and that you suffered from malaria and bouts of sunburn, and dangerous girls on the battlefields of Koh Samui. The third is the African scarf- the Tagelmust. Worn by Tuareg nomads in the Sahara, these scarves are worn by the old school of photojournalists- those who have covered the north African conflicts, tragedies like Darfur, the Western Sahara, the Polisario, Algeria, even Southern Sudan! This is the Ferrari of scarves.”
Photo Credit : kennerly.com
And introducing Panga Management new favourite blog – SHIT PHOTO JOURNALISTS LIKE
(Thanks to the Spaniard for the heads up on the above blog, which is going to give PM endless hours of joy)