PANGA MANAGEMENT’S CHRISTMAS WISH LIST 2011

  1. Panga Management would really appreciate if stupidity was made painful, and PM would like this in every shade of Fuck- you- very- much.
  2. PM would like Christmas music in shopping centres (and shopping centres for that matter) voted off the island, continent and globe.
  3. Panga Management wishes that Cape Town people would learn how to drive, and South African politicians would learn how to resign. If PM can only have one of these two, PM would like every bad politician to be run over by a Cape Town driver -that would be poetic justice which would screw them both; poetic justice is the perfect stocking filler.
  4. PM wants Christmas trees banned and indigenous trees planted in their place.
  5. Pretty- please can PM see every animal, child and adult abuser, getting pummelled into small colourful boxes, wrapped with shiny plastic red and green ribbons and left under the above mentioned indigenous trees, to suffocate and die. Mwahha- ha- ho-ho- ho!
  6. Can all synthetic Santa’s with paedophilic tendencies be Ctrl – Alt-Deleted; hell can all Santa’s and paedophiles be Ctrl – Alt-Deleted.
  7. PM really- really wants every pigeon that has every shat on anyone, to experience being kuked on everyday from Christmas to New Year (that will learn them!)
  8. PM would love for every CEO of every thieving insurance company (that would be all of them) to be robbed on Christmas Eve by very polite Christmas carol singers. When said CEO claims that their Christmas was stolen, their very own insurance company could drop them a note articulating how acts of god, are not covered under their policy!
  9. Panga Management wishes that every person who acted in kindness during the course of the year gets their favourite meal cooked for them by their bestest super hero.
  10.  And finally Miss Panga would like gold glittery heals to wear on PM’s stockings: not in PM’s stocking. As Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada says “That’s all”.
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