ALL FOAM NO BEER – ART CRITICISM IN SOUTH AFRICA.

Once in a land called All Foam No Beer, there lived a person bright as Alaska in December. They were big like ox and smart like tractor. They spoke very loudly with a very small voice. Dumber than a bag of hammers they spent their days banging on insistently until the people around them became as sharp as marbles.

And that’s not all PM has to say.

PM and Aunty Panga have on many occasions noted, with growing concern, that the quality of cultural and art criticism in South Africa is slipping like an insipid dribble of spittle, down the face of a special needs child. PM is convinced that some of the cultural journalist shouting word count in the daily rags, and high brow publications, are suffering from a rare type of Cretinism.

Cretinism (A congenital disease due to absence or deficiency of normal thyroid secretion, characterized by physical deformity, dwarfism, and mental retardation). This particular form of the harrowing disease, does not result in any physical deformity but does resoundingly result in mental retardation. A retard (a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way). A retard – who might be very good at putting punctuation in the right spot, at the right time – is still a retard.

Aunty Panga has raised a finger, interjected, and suggested that maybe retard is the wrong word. Aunty P feels PM should endeavour, or at least pretend to try, to refrain from being blunt like a spoon; Aunty P thinks that “moron” is a far more accurate describing word, that does allow for a breath of intrinsic intelligence in the so labelled candidate.

A moron (A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling some degree of academic or vocational education. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive. )

PM thinks Aunty P might indeed be correct. Yes, there seems to be a serious helping of morons, writing about art and culture in South Africa. PM does not care, that the term is considered offensive -Fuck being PC – PC is so 1990. The questions PM wants answered are…

Are they aware that with every malnourished word they type they are infecting people, with compromised intellects, with their Cretinism?

Where is the “Hello Peter” forum for immunisation against the wanking-on word count by these Idiots and Imbeciles?

Idiot (a person of the lowest order in a former and discarded classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25. ) .

Imbecile (a person of the second order in a former and discarded classification of mental retardation, above the level of idiocy, having a mental age of seven or eight years and an intelligence quotient of 25 to 50. )

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